


The BEEFTANK CFL Diaries

by vtn



Category: Breaking Madden, The Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles - Jon Bois
Genre: BEEFTANK completes a pass, Gen, a bear goes over a mountain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 07:21:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2842817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vtn/pseuds/vtn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarence BEEFTANK makes his CFL debut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The BEEFTANK CFL Diaries

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pts/gifts).



> Dear pts,
> 
> Hooray for Breaking Madden! I think Yuletide Madness is the perfect time for some Breaking Madden fic, and somehow crossing it over with the Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles just seemed right. I feel like Jon Bois's CFL would be a perfect place for BEEFTANK, even if he might struggle with some concepts like geography and calendar dates (and [isn't exactly the world's best typist](https://twitter.com/beeft4nk)). Hope you enjoy this and have a very happy Yuletide!

**Today**  
Footbal game todays...i walked all the way to Canada; with my soupcase on my back;; they's have many posters saying 'good job BEEFTANKs'! very nice. i had bag of milks and bag of coffees on a fries for lunch :)) canada is an very nice place for friend. i'm your friend BEEFTANK

love; BEEFTANK

 **Today also. a little hours later**  
futeball game starting. going to taking the futeball for a walk, it looks hungry. walking through lots of futball player, maybe get a milks'bag for foteball friend? :) Canada,s are very helpful to football with and have give me a sign to find street for walking futebal. „boumb for strete”

hard to type boundb for stert

BOUM for STEAT

 **today. rainy day and nice**  
shareing'd my milksb'ags with footeball;; a good days 4 a gameb of bal. i'm been running until shops'keeper drive me and footeball in the back of truck. lots of mil'sbags for to rest upon. reminds me of child days s;leeping with milkesbags from family (:

 **today; by clarence BEEFTA3NK**  
todab we drive milksbags'struck to hub'son bay. i met a bear!

 **tobdays**  
dear BEEFTANK, 

swimming in hubsbon bay together with feteball friend and some otter. today i'm learned about «Pass' Completeion» from throwing ball to nice otter on my foteball team. playing a song with otter,s on my slide whistle. beeeeeeeoooooooooooooop it goes :-)

 **tomorrow? nope...today,,,**  
got to land, said faires'well's to otter and met another futeball'sman. he instructs'd me to go to endzoane at InvestgingsGroupe Field. adventure! i meet a moose! 

**today**  
ate the last milksbag of my soupcase.together with futeball we hiked a fortnight's to find InVestors Groupfield. didn't find yet :( but I found a produce shoppe and bought five potatoe and three corns and camps bag for camping.

 ** ~~yesterday~~ ~~day after yesterday~~ today**  
who was that??/ yes, it was otter! she had hiding in my soupcases'bag since husbands bay. there are more footeballsmen of late and otter is a great teamesmate for my foatball; making a great tackles. footeballsman with otter on his face yelled aboute (or abbott;; because for Canadaian accent that I am trying to make today) how his teamesmen were waiting at Mosaickesstadium. never mind ImvestorGroupFielde, otter and BEEFTANK will travel to REGAINEA!

 **airport**  
taxi carriage picked up BEEFTANK and otter at Raegena, Sanskenketnchanwan. 

„here, pass the fute:ball. i'm Totino Argonaut's from many year” said taxi. «i'll take to Mosankce Stadium". i pass him his feuteball but otter jamped in the way;; and made inception. under Totino's Argonaut shirt was Sandwiche'stwan Rough Rider! we jomp out of taxescab after seeing that ~~Sandwiche's Shope~~

 ~~Saskenchenton~~

too hard to type with thombs, meverm ind;

is too dangerouse. we'll find airplane at YQR'sport and fly to safeplace.

 **morning**  
at 4.3 o'fthe clock i landed BEEFTANK plane in Kampbloops. went to get kamloops for breakfast'ing. with foteball hiding inside the kamloopsbag, here we can travel safe. 

but in the mountain, i start to feel that legs too short and tired for hiking all the way from Kambloop to BBC Place;; so we had to find taxing-cab again. i hailed taxing-cab with slide-whistle

beeeeeeeeeeeee

ooooooooop

and up the side of the mountain came a Prius taxing-cabs. otter puts her tiny scared otter hand in fat BEEFTANK hand and i was squeezeing'ed tight. 

„its safe" said cabsman. he leaned out of cab'swindow and took off his footballes-helm. „its bear.« it was bear! 

together with otter and bear we broughtened the footesball's over the mountain, to see what we could see's

and all that we could see((, the other side of the mountain is beautiful ocean's water and blue, blue, blue and city: VANCOUVER

 **today of footbal gamb**  
we bouned back out of street and into footballs garden at BBC Plance, with our footballes-helms on together we were BEEFTANK otter and bear: the last TOTINOS ARGUNO'TS.

there was already footeballs'games playing with Lions and Tigers'Cat's. but only one bear: Torontoes Bear.

and at footesballesgame there were entire family of BEEFTANK's. rhinoceros & Sherman oak & graphites'wheelbarrow & lightes'ray in cloud & fulfilled prophecy & times-capsule & dude who is parents of BEEFTANK. all of them were being watching BEEFTANK bear and otter. all of them had's "good job BEEFTANK" poster: even cloud. BEAR went to ends-zone and make sure that «TOTINOS" said there. then otter opened bag from kamloops cereals and put ball in BEEFTANK hand.

"JAVE OUT!„ said the crowdspeople's. with footeballs-button i javed out the fouteball;;;; and threw,,,,

and the fotebel javed into the end'szone.

rouge.

¡1 footeballspoint for BEEFTANK!

it was in 4nth quarter and it was argon'ts win!! all of BEEFTANK family cheered. i hugged otter and bear even if they don't fit in my arm's. <3

«congratunations to BEEFTANK„ said Queen Elizabeth II. ))now it is time for even more challenge. we need BEEFTANKS for UK kingdom. 2morrow we have curling'schampionchip."

"is it ok, bear??¿ can i go•¿' asked BEEFTANK [that was me, BEEFTANK)} 

bear and otter agreed to defened Totino"s from footeballes'foes. as for me BEEFTANK i could not yet return to farmesland with milksbags. now: it was time to curling...,,,,

-to BE Con'tinue??.....?-

**Author's Note:**

> Don't try to tell me Kamloops is not a cereal. I know you all keep claiming it's a city in British Columbia but I see right through your lies. It's definitely a breakfast cereal.


End file.
